I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
