maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
