its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
