what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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