Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
this just has baby written all over it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
