The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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