Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
