It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
