whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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