the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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