BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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