Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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