Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
