it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you win again, gameday.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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