i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
