so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
