Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
