If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
