conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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