try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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