i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
