when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
