Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize