There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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