Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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