**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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