I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize