he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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