the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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