mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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