My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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