2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
