The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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