Define "chronic" masturbator.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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