How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
