Dual....:-)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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