i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I will be naked everywhere
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You've changed since you got that strap on
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
