here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize