what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
