did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
