He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
