I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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