Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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