Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
