I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
