Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
