Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
