I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
