Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
