remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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