is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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