Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
