i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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