Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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