Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
