Pappa wants mamma naked
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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