4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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