Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
