he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
