Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
