just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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