Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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